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Sex Education: Lies and what should be Taught

Sex education in schools is still a controversial topic, despite the fact that many kids are having sex and the vast majority of them have viewed porn and have easy access to the internet.  So why do we resist teaching them properly about sex?  And what should we teach our kids?

Some parents object to to exposing children to new ideas that can't be unlearned.  Well fuck-a-duck! Is that not the point of education? I mean, you can teach them shame in your own home all you want...but I think every child has the right to the real facts.

Is it that the kids don't want information or to be exposed to this material? Not at all! The kids are enthusiastic.  It's the parents that have the issues.  And that is EXACTLY why we need to educate children properly in schools: parents will pass on their own issues, shame and embarrassment.  This is a cycle deeply in need of breaking.

Also, lets be honest: how much did you learn about sex from your parents???!?   How much teaching
is actually going on there? I'd say I learned approximately 0.0001% of what I know about sex from my parents.    Of course, I know a fuck-ton more than most people.  But the only thing I can recall 'learning' is that you should always use condoms or you could get the girl pregnant...and I think I already understood that and how condoms worked, before that obvious tidbit was passed on. So did I really learn anything at all from them? I do recall my eyes being covered when breasts were on the movie that's awkward and taught me that breasts were somehow bad. Worse that seeing a decapitation in the same movie (no hands over my eyes for that!)

Now exactly what we teach children should be discussed.   Parents are often wanting to ban teaching kids about homosexuality, oral sex, anal sex and even masturbation.  Well fuck-a-duck! Why the hell would you want to teach them any of that 'deviant stuff' when you can let them watch all of that in their very first porn movie.  You might as well put things into perspective for them.  Those are completely eliminated from many school curriculum which, to me, is like teaching math but not mentioning multiplication.

There is also the movement towards 'abstinence only' education which has is not sex education at all (for starters) and is proven to have higher STI and teenage pregnancies where it is I would eagerly declare this a proven FAIL and say let's move on to something that works. Unless you want your son to catch gonorrhea and your daughter to get pregnant...which would be rather odd parenting goals.

But abstinence only also teaches children that sex outside of wedlock leads to an unhappy life and that it's okay to slut shame girls.  Life lessons being taught like 'the girl who says no is the one you pursue' is so full of fail that parents that teach this should be given mandatory homosexual golden showers (just because they'd hate it so much they'd want to die -- unlike the cool parents who'd be into it).  

And what age do we start teaching? If some children are reaching puberty at ages 8 or 9...that is going to release hormones in their bodies which activate their sex drive and interest in sex.  So saying that teaching 11 year olds about sex isn't appropriate is completely denying biology and leaving these kids lost, alone and utterly confused for years. Or pregnant.

Perhaps my biggest objection to current sex education is the LIES.
Here's the Top 10 LIES Taught in Sex Education Classes:

lies-in-school1) sex acts aside from penis in vagina could result in a sexually transmitted disease magically
appearing in 2 virgins???
2)  How about 1 in 6 sexual encounters with a condom result in pregnancy??
3)  Condoms cause cancer??
4)  Each time you have sex with someone new you lose more of your personal value and worth?
5)  Gonorehhea can kill you within 3 days???
6)  Boys have no self control around a girl who is wearing something too revealing??
7)  It is illegal to have premarital sex??
8)  birth control pills cause abortions??
9)  abortions lead to infertility??
10)  IUDs are only for people that have already had kids

All of the above is blatant bullshit. Well, mostly.  1) could happen if an STD was passed on to the child during pregnancy/childbirth (eg. HIV or herpes) 6) I am guilty of this sometimes but most guys I've seen are big wussies unless they are drunk in these kinds of circumstances  7) In Saudi Arabia this is true.   So yeah...basically this is complete crap that should not be taught and certainly should there is more useful information that could be conveyed in these very short lessons!

Some stuff that should be taught:
high-quality-sex-ed1) IUDs work great all the time and one they are in, you can be protected without worry for years!
(from pregnancy)  IUDs are by far the cheapest form of birth control, last around 5 years after being inserted and have the lowest pregnancy rate of any form of birth control aside from sterilization.
2)  Pulling out is still WAY better than cumming in her for the odds of getting her pregnant.  Think about it like this: how many lottery tickets are you going to purchase so you are in the draw to will a baby?   Pulling out before cumming is way better than shooting your load inside of her.
3)   The birth control pill makes your period lighter, reduces acne, has no effect on your weight, lowers your chances of getting cancer, doesn't require breaks, doesn't effect your long term fertility, and can be used by women over the age of 35 (yeah, basically I am shattering a lot of myths about the Pill here).
4) How to talk about consent, condom use, and STIs.
5) Explaining things about sex toys, types of lube and TYPES of condoms -- as the bulletproof super thick, unlubed condoms they hand out in school are bullshit!
6) Oral sex is great and won't result in pregancy
7) Talk about porn and how sex is different than what is viewed in porn -- for example: men don't always pull out and cum on her face...girls in general a not big fans of this and it feels way fucking better to cum inside of her!  The 'cum on her face' shown in porn is there because you CAN'T show the guy cumming inside of doesn't read on camera at all because it is entirely hidden.  Well...there is creampie porn.  
need-for-better-sex-education8)  Girls are big fans of average sized dicks.  There is a reason it is average size. It feels best.  I've heard complaints about guys being too big and it hurting -- giant cocks can actually bash ovaries painfully -- and a smaller cock is better for anal sex (much to my chagrin :/  )
9) It is totally natural and normal to want to have sex...for both guys and girls.
10) There are many different sexualities -- including bisexuality which is more common than purely straight or purely gay -- as most people try something at some point with the same gender.  And some people choose to be bi because they like all the options presented to them. At least the hot options ;)

It is worth noting that the United States is the only developed country that teaches abstinence only sex education.  Every other country has see how ineffective it is. For me, the best education should be provided by sex positive people who are totally comfortable talking to kids about sex without making it weird.

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7 C's of BDSM

Yup...there's 7 of 'em ;)

The 7 C's of BDSM

1. Consent
Life is complicated enough without talking to your partner or playmate.  Just talk and tell them what you want to do or have done to you.  And only do the things that you agree upon. It's pretty simple but avoids all kind of hurt feelings.  Consent is especially important in new relationships and between people new to BDSM. And it's only noobs that say they don't have limits. Trust me, you have limits and you might as well draw the line so everybody is on the same page.

2. Communication
Communicating is super sexy.  And we are humans -- it's kind of our thing. Negotiating about what you want done can build tension and open the door to many new experiences.

Also, communication lets you have realistic expectations of each other.  Always under promise and over deliver. If all you are offering is being a fuck buddy and she's thinking she's found 'the one' -- then a bit of communication can save you from her burning all your stuff on the front lawn as she throws a crazy not-gf-but-really-wants-to-be-your-wife tantrum.

You can also talk about experiences and desires.  I spoke with this one girl who was obviously a pain slut and we exchanged a bunch of pretty hardcore texts -- and so I was completely stunned when she said that she had zero BDSM experience.  Good to know!  Thinking she's super experienced could get us both into a lot of trouble.

3. Creativity
You have to mix it up.  A girl attracted to BDSM is into it because she's down with the mind fuck and
all the evil ways you can abuse her.  She is not down with being fucked the exact same way, in the same position, every time.   This also goes for subs...don't do your best corpse imitation while always wearing the exact same outfit...that is gonna get stale fast.  You have to be creative.

Myself, I never have any problems with creativity. I prefer to go in with no plan and do whatever my kinky mind comes up with at the time. A good example is the other day, I had a shower with a new sub and afterwards I saw the towel laying on the floor.  So I spontaneously rolled it into a 'rat tail' and whipped her with it.  (But I did not dip it in water as the last time I did that, it broke the skin and caused far too much blood to risk with a new playmate.)

The point is, mix it up and have fun doing new things.

4.  Connection
This is one that a lot of vanilla people truly don't get.  BDSM is all about connecting with the other person and sharing an experience which ultimately makes both feel closer and more connected to one another.  Remember that point of BDSM is to bring two (or more) people together and help them become one: to build trust and share. If you always keep this in mind, your playtime is always going to be mutually rewarding.

This can also take the form of cuddles and support afterwards. Providing aftercare to make sure she is okay.  And just being there to support her.   After pushing her really hard, there is an opportunity to deeply connect in a way that creates a lasting bond. A bond felt even if you both go separate ways. And ideally, this feeling keeps you together.

5. Consistency
Simply put, if you make a rule, enforce the rule. Every time.  Don't be lenient as this will just confuse her.  Just like training a dog, you have to be consistent to get results.  If you say the punishment will be 'X' for a transgression,  immediately perform 'X' when the transgression occurs.

6.  Compersion
Ok, this one is for open minded folks.  Compersion is the feeling of joy at seeing your partner with another partner. Known as 'the opposite of jealousy',  compersion is really a feeling of joy in knowing that someone else is making your partner happy.   I can even get this a little bit by seeing her really turned on by someone she likes in porn.  But the point is: jealousy is a worthless reaction when you can support your partner instead.  In a complex BDSM relationship, compersion allows for all sorts of kinky variations and partners to keep her hot and wet.

7.  Compassion
This is a form of love that is aroused within us when we witness someone who is suffering or
vulnerable.  It often is a reaction to react tenderly and to act kindly towards that person. In the context of BDSM, it is aroused when you see your sub suffering and taking the pain for you.  You look at her and you heart reaches out to her -- because she is accepting the pain I inflict to serve me. She is offering this to me, not because she an inferior person but because she is strong and generous.  It is absolutely vital to appreciate the gift of submission that your sub is offering you -- as her vulnerability should ultimately soften your heart as she is giving you the greatest gift she has.

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